LONDON SCREENWRITER'S FESTIVAL

29-31st October In London sees the Cheltenham Screenwriter's Festival take up a new residence in our Capital City...

Over fifty speakers, four hundred delegates and development guru's on site for three days this Autumn...

You would expect then to hear me say... GO FELLOW WRITERS, DIVE IN TO THE BREACH AND COME UP WITH AN AGENT, PRODUCER AND A CONFIDENT SWAGGER! But instead, I must share my experiences with this festival from 2009.

Cheltenham is a lovely place... nice houses, perfect lawns and no GOD DAMN IDIOTS ( you know who you are)! At least, not the kind of idiots in caps... This festival drew in a new breed of idiot, one who is already struggling to get their head above a rising swell in the ocean of writers out to make themselves a name and one's that will pay over £250 for the privelege of "feeling better".

Personally, I came out as I went in... " If I EVER GET LIKE THAT" , I said to my girlfriend, " Then I DESERVE TO HAVE FAILED". Producers were nowhere to be seen, replaced instead by 40-something writers with chips on their shoulders, who had a couple of pieces commissioned in the 80's and sat back and waited for the phone to ring...

Vulnerable.
Desperate.
Seeking The Dream...

AS A WRITER I AM ALREADY ALL OF THE ABOVE... all that will happen if I go back is I will be Vulnerable, Desperate and Seeking with a substantially depleted BANK BALANCE.

My advice... attend if you want to, some of the talks will be good but DON'T EXPECT IT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE... and you might be pleasantly surprised...